“Just to be is a blessing; just to live is holy.”
Abraham Joshua Heschel

The following recommendations are singled out for the ways they provide care to pastors and leaders across the church. Resources both for self-care and care of parishioners are included. Some reflect self awareness; others speak to care of others; some address the disillusionment of daily life and ministry. Many draw us back from the edge of self-preoccupation and the running of institutions into the presence of a God who, in the midst of disappointments, illusions and disillusions, will not let us go. It’s a work in progress!

Pastoral Care – Consider the following…

• Search the resource center for resources re: practical aspects of pastoral care.
• Check out the following new titles:
• Nan Guilmartin, Healing Conversations (revised)
• Margaret Benefiel, Soul of Supervision
• Denise Hopkins, Grounded in the Living Word
• Rolf Nolasco, Contemplative Counselor
• Neil Pembroke, Pastoral Care in Worship, Liturgy, and Psychology
• Joe Pennel, Gift of Presence
• John Sippola, Welcome Them Home, Help Them Heal
• Larry Webb, Crisis Counseling in the Congregation
• Form a clergy or colleague group where questions and issues of pastoral care shape conversation and prayer
• Consider meeting regularly with a spiritual director (see below)
• Make time for a retreat (see below)
• Ask someone you trust as a model and “fellow traveler” to be your mentor
• Read, write, take time for nature and the restorative power of creation
• Spend time on those things which give you life
• Sabbatical possibilities

Who am I? They often tell me I would step from my cell’s confinement calmly, cheerfully, firmly, like a squire from his country-house. Who am I? They often tell me I would talk to my warders freely and friendly and clearly, as though it were mine to command …Who am I? They also tell me I bore the days of misfortune equably, smilingly, proudly, like one accustomed to win.

Poke around these sites…

You’ll find interesting resources for pastoral care as well as offerings like events, tutorials, workshops, retreat opportunities, weekly blogs, and more.

• FaithAndWisdom.org
  Retreat centers, events offered by seminaries, colleges, lifelong learning centers
• Spiritual Directors International
  Spiritual directors and how to identify those most helpful
• Sacred Space
  An online prayer guide
• Alban Institute
• Paraclete Press
  Pastoral care resources

Who am I? This or the other? Am I one person today and tomorrow another? Am I both at once?
A hypocrite before others, and before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army, fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Retreat Opportunities:

• Sisters of the Presentation Prayer Center - Fargo, ND
• Sisters of Mary of the Presentation House of Hospitality – Valley City, ND
• HeartSprings: Center for Health, Hope, Healing – Fargo, ND
• Spirit in the Desert Retreat Center – Carefree, AZ (see below)
• Holden Village – Chelan, WA
• Franciscan Spirituality Center – LaCrosse, WI

Spend time with the following authors…

The Resource Center loans most of the books and media resources by these authors:

• Eugene Peterson
  www.eugenepetersononline.com
  Peterson’s work can help pastors recover “vocational holiness.” His newest book is The Pastor. Check out his eloquent writing in The Contemplative Pastor; Working the Angles; Under the Unpredictable Plant, and Take and Read. You’ll find intimations of God at every turn.
• Barbara Brown Taylor
  www.barbarabrowntaylor.com
  This writer, preacher, teacher is primarily a worshiper. Her books reflect a way of being and seeing most of us long for: “ … BBT works with God’s word, God’s people, God’s gifts, God’s hope for the world… you who are entering ministry… you who are ministers who have forgotten your call… you who are not ministers but who are standing on the porch, unsure of whether you are seeking or being sought”… you must spend some time with BBT!
• Joan Chittister
  www.joanchittister.org
  Begin with Wisdom Distilled from the Daily, Chittister’s recounting of the Rule of St. Benedict where she clearly describes the richness of daily life when guided by common sense reverence for God, self, and others. Order/borrow her monthly “Monastic Way” for daily reflections about living life fully.
• Abraham Joshua Heschel
  Check out classics like I Asked for Wonder and Quest for God.
• Dietrich Bonhoeffer
  Must reads include Life Together, Who Am I? and The Wisdom and Witness of Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
• Granger Westberg
  His classic best-seller from Augsburg Fortress is Good Grief . AFP also recommends Domestic Violence: What Every Pastor Needs to Know, Pastoral Care of Alcohol Abusers, and Defeating Depression: Real Help for You and Those You Love. We have also added Pastoral Care Emergencies to the RC collection.
• Henri Nouwen
  Don’t miss The Living Reminder, Wounded Healer and Can You Drink the Cup?
• William Martin
  The Art of Pastoring: Contemplative Reflections
• Rob Bell
  www.robbell.com
  In addition to the Nooma films, don’t miss Bell’s provocative books.

Am I then really all that which others tell of? Or am I only what I myself know of myself? Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage, struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat, yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds, thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness, tossing in expectation of great events, powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance, weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making, faint and ready to say farewell to it all?

More resources from colleagues…

AIM Curt Larson, Milnor:
I attended a retreat sponsored by Luther Seminary and the Board of Pensions a couple years ago. Sandy Rothshiller was the main presenter. It was held at the Spirit in the Desert Retreat Center, north of Phoenix, AZ. I don’t remember the name of event, but it focused on self-care. The event helped me determine how to better care for myself, so I can better care for others. The week-long event schedule allowed plenty of free time and the February dates were ideal as it came between the two busiest seasons of Christmas and Easter.

Pr. Kathy Brown, Grand Forks:
Read Wesley Granberg Michaelson’s new book, Unexpected Destinations (Eerdman)

Pr. Dan Carlson, Larimore:
One resource that I have found helpful early in my ministry was a little book entitled, Minister’s Prayer Book edited by John W. Doberstein, Fortress Press copyright 1986. Another thing that I try to do for self care is to make my day off (if there’s an emergency, I try to take another day). Sabbath is important for self care. Some of the best advice for pastoral care came from Professor BIll Smith at Luther Seminary… telling us to know when you are in over your head—REFER. Refer to someone who is a specialist and trained counselor.

Pr. Jim Winjim, Grand Forks:
A couple of books that I have found useful are Becoming a Pastor: Forming Self and Soul for Ministry by Jaco J. Hamman. Cleveland: Pilgrim Press. 2007 and Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges. Da Capo Press. 2004.

Pr. Rich Budd, Leeds:
I like Eugene Peterson—everything he writes is good. I just recently finished his auobiography, The Pastor: A Memoir. On target also: A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, The Contemplative Pastor, and the one that really hits home, Working the Angles.

Pr. Adam Copeland, Fargo:
A good intro for pastoral ministry—The Pastor by Eugene Peterson. A good site for congregational studies, support, and classes— thethoughtfulchristian.com

Pr. Lucinda Lien, Ypsilanti:
Kirk Byron Jones’ Rest in the Storm and Addicted to Hurry; for depression and its treatment without medication, The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns.

Pr. Bonnie Weaver, Cando:
Since our rural population is aging I have found that the annual Geriatric Healthcare, Alzheimer’s, & Hospice Conference in Bismarck is a great help. Each year they have different topics, but I have attended sessions on Pastoral Care for the Care Giver, Communicating with Alzheimer’s Patients, Using Laughter to Ease Crisis Situations, Grief and Alzheimer’s, etc. Also, taking the Prepare/Enrich class on pre-marital counseling was enormously helpful.

Pr. Jessica Merchant, Tri-County:
Two books that immediately come to mind are William Willimon’s Pastor, and Marva Dawn’s Sense of Call. Those two books were quite helpful with self-care my first years of ministry.

Pr. Marty Simmons, Fargo:
Read Chaim Potok!

Pr. Rich Kramer, West Fargo:

• David Augsburger, Caring Enough to Confront;
• Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death
• Anything by Fredrick Buechner
• Edwin Friedman, Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue
• Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence
• W. Paul Jones, Theological Worlds: Understanding the Alternative Rhythms of Christian Belief
• Andrew Lester, Hope in Pastoral Care and Counseling
• Gerald May, Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions
• Rachel Naomi Remen, Kitchen Table Wisdom and My Grandfather’s Blessings
• Daniel Simundson, Faith Under Fire: How the Bible Speaks to Us in Times of Suffering
• Howard W. Stone, Depression and Hope: New Insights for Pastoral Counseling
• Insight: Keep a Sabbath day each week; keep a Sabbath time each day.

Pr. Elwood Rieke, Fargo:
I recommend Pastor Art Johnson who was in charge of pastoral care at Merit Care for many years.  Best authors: William Willimon and Granger Westberg (Good Grief).

Pr. Patrick McCormack, Thompson:
I go back to How to Keep the Pastor You Love by Jane Rubietta and The Cry of Tamar by Pamela Cooper-White.

Pr. Jerry Protextor, Fargo:
I recommend Mark Allen Powell’s work; The Generosity Ladder by Nelson Searcy; and Kirk Nowery’s The Giving Church and The Giving Christian. Best care should also include Dave Ramsey’s material on Financial Peace University.

Pr. Mike Woods, LaCrescent, MN:
The language of God is story, symbol and ritual. (I think Carl Jung said this) and silence. Pastoral care is helping people become fluent in the language of God.

For doing good ritual and symbols I recommend:

1. Gertrude Mueller Nelson To Dance With God
2. The Nilson Family For Everything a Season: 75 Blessings for Daily Life
3. Robert Fulghum From Beginning to End

For good stories

1. Rachel Remen Kitchen Table Wisdom and My Grandfather’s Blessing
2. Mary Pipher Letters to a Young Therapist

For Caregivers

1. Wayne Muller’s 3 hour DVD, Called to Action: Strengthening Ministries of Healing is pure gold. (read him in this month’s The Lutheran magazine)
2. Robert Wicks Riding the Red Dragon: Ten Lessons for Inner Strength in Challenging Times
3. The Art of Pastoring by William C. Martin

Local Spiritual Directors:

• Sisters of the Presentation – Fargo, ND
  Sr. Andrea Arendt presprayerctr AT cableone DOT net
  Sr. Elaine Garr garrye@presentationsisters.org
  Sr. Francine Janouse fjanousek@cableone.net
• Catholic Charities ND – Fargo, ND Office
  Peter Edwards pedwards AT catholiccharitiesnd DOT org
• Valley Christian Counseling Center – Fargo, ND
  Ellen Zaeske ezaeske AT mcleodusa DOT net
• Olivet Lutheran Church – Fargo, ND
  Pr. Tiffany Sundeen tsundeen AT olivet DOT org
• MICAH – Crookston, MN
  Daniel Wolpert micahprays AT midco DOT net
• Catholic Diocese - Fargo, ND
  Sr. Dorothy Bunce dorothy.bunce AT fargodiocese DOT org
• Pr. Terry Hagensen stsinner4u AT gmail DOT com

More information about spiritual directors…

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, thou knowest, O God, I am thine!
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The preceding resources are highlighted and recommended for your consideration. If you have questions or would like to reserve a resource, contact Julie Aageson at 701-232-3381 or julie.aageson@ecunet.org

Visit the EaND Resource Center | Search the Catalog

Eastern North Dakota Synod - ELCA: Replenishment, Reflection, Pastoral Care

When pastors leave, a congregation begins the process of looking for new leadership.  Similarly, clergy leaving and clergy being considered for call begin a process of evaluation.  The following resources help both clergy and congregation through this important process.

Books

• Considering a New Call by James Antal (Alban) (B2480)
• Change of Pastors and How It Affects Change in the Congregation by Loren Mead (Alban) (B3121)
• Alban Guide to Managing the Pastoral Search Process by John Vonhof
• Elephant in the Boardroom: Speaking the Unspoken about Pastoral Transitions by Carolyn Weese and J. Russell Crabtree
• Pastors in Transition by Dean Hoge and J. Wenger (B3193)

Printed Resources

• Running Through the Thistles: Terminating a Ministerial Relationship with a Parish by Roy Oswald (PR808)
• So You’re on the Search Committee by Bunty Ketcham (PR1007)
• Ending Well, Starting Strong (Alban) PR1008

Organization

Interim Ministry Network (external link)
Dedicated to encouraging and educating congregational leaders during interim periods, the Interim Ministry Network provides education and information on the interim process, professional support and development, and practice standards.  Call synod office for contact information.

Other Media

• “To Call a Pastor: Helping Call Committees” (VT1620)
• Why You Should Develop a Pastor-Parish Relations Committee (VT2466)
• Many Voices Discussion Video for “The Congregation” (VT2466)
• “Ending Well, Starting Strong” (C299)
• Clergy/Staff Selection Tips (articles from Net Results) (K75)

The preceding resources are highlighted and recommended for your consideration. If you have questions or would like to reserve a resource, contact Julie Aageson at 701-232-3381 or julie.aageson@ecunet.org

Visit the EaND Resource Center | Search the Catalog

Eastern North Dakota Synod - ELCA: Resources for Calling a New Pastor

In our culture where time has become a commodity and remembering who we are is sometimes a challenge, sabbath keeping may be more important than ever. What follows here can be a catalyst for inviting the church to slow down, to remember and reclaim sabbath time. Additionally, it’s an invitation to pastoral renewal and replenishment in the form of sabbatical leave. I hope you find it helpful!

Featured Resources:

• Receiving the Day Christian Practices for Opening the Gift of Time by Dorothy Bass (B2398)
• Under the Tree of Life by Gail Ramshaw (B2304)
• Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives by Wayne Muller (B2485)
• Keeping the Sabbath Wholly:Ceasing, Resting, Embracing, Feasting by Marva Dawn (B1749)
• Clergy Renewal: the Alban Guide to Sabbatical Planning by A Richard Bullock and Richard J. Bruesehoff (B2459)
• Sabbatical Journey by Henri Nouwen (B2434)
• The Sabbath by Abraham Joshua Heschel
• Practicing Our Faith: A Way of Life for a Searching People edited by Dorothy Bass (B2220)
• Sabbath Time by Tilden Edwards (B2824)
• A Timbered Choir: the Sabbath Poems by Wendell Berry
• Ministerial Sabbaticals: Tools for Mission (B2822)
• Catch Your Breath: God’s Invitation to Sabbath Rest by Don Postema (B2823)
• Journeying Toward Renewal: A Spiritual Companion for Pastoral Sabbaticals by Melissa Bane Sevier (B2825)
• Sabbath of Peace (VT1642)
• The Ten Commandments (VT2238)
• Dusting Off Theology (VT930)
• Living the Ten Commandments (VT2040)
• Power Tools: the Ten Commandments (VT1379)
• Changing the Rhythm of Parish Ministry: Sabbatical Policy Insights (VT2183)
• Why You Should Give Your Pastor a Sabbatical (VT2445)
• Keep the Sabbath (VT2160)

Featured Links:

• Wittenberg Center’s Sabbatical and Journey Planner (external link)
• Sabbatical Leave for Pastors in the Christian Church (external link)
• Sabbatical Information from CHARIS (external link)
• Sabbatical Grant through Louisville Institute (external link)

The preceding resources are highlighted and recommended for your consideration. If you have questions or would like to reserve a resource, contact Julie Aageson at 701-232-3381 or julie.aageson@ecunet.org

Visit the EaND Resource Center | Search the Catalog

Eastern North Dakota Synod - ELCA: Sabbath Keeping and Sabbatical Taking

“A healthy congregation is one that actively and responsibly addresses or heals its disturbances, not one with an absence of trouble.” Every congregation, every family will know trouble, disruption, dysfunction. Knowing ourselves well enough to learn from these inevitable conflicts can contribute to stronger, healthier congregations and families. Healthy congregations have been a theme in the church for a long time. The following resources are selected from Peter Steinke’s work and from the work of family systems experts like Edwin Friedman, Murray Bowen, and Roberta Gilbert. This letter isn’t meant to be a finished work: we look forward to your input and suggestions of additional resources that will make this a more comprehensive bibliography.

Featured Resources:

• How Your Church Family Works by Peter Steinke
• Beating Burnout in Congregations by Lynne M. Baab – (B2864)
• Becoming a Healthier Pastor: Family Systems Theory and the Pastor’s Own Family by Ronald Richardson – (B3223)
• Bowen Family Systems Theory by Daniel V. Papero – (B2302)
• Church Conflict: the Hidden Systems Behind the Fights – by Charles H. Cosgrove and Dennis Hatfield
• Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times: Being Calm and Courageous No Matter What by Peter Steinke (B3302)
• Connecting With Our Children by Roberta Gilbert
• Creating a Healthier Church: Family Systems Theory, Leadership, and Congregational Life by Ronald Richardson (B2365)
• Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory: A New Way of Thinking about the Individual and the Group by Roberta Gilbert (B3322)
• The Emotional Side of Organizations (April 22-23, 1995)
• The Equipping Pastor: A Systems Approach to Congregational Leadership by R. Paul Stevens and Phil Collins (B1111)
• Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert (B2313)
• Extraordinary Leadership: Thinking Systems, Making a Difference by Roberta Gilbert (B3321)
• Failure of Nerve, A: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman (B2307)
• Family Evaluation by Michael Kerr and Murray Bowen (B2331)
• Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen
• Family Ties That Bind by Ronald Richardson (B2497)
• The Fifth Discipline: the Art and Practice of the Learning Organization by Peter Senge (B1068)
• Friedman’s Fables by Edwin Friedman (B1071)
• From Stuck to Unstuck- Overcoming Congregational Impasse by Kenneth A. Halstead (B2179)
• Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church by Edwin Friedman (B764)
• Genograms in Family Assessment by Monica McGoldrick (B1067)
• Healthy Congregations: A Systems Approach by Peter Steinke (B1714)
• Hidden Life of Congregations, The by Israel Galindo (B3008)
• How Your Church Family Works by Peter Steinke (B1277 and B3301)
• Our Community: Dealing with Conflict in the Congregation by Susan Lang (PR736)
• “Failure of Nerve, A: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix” by Edwin Friedman (C207)
• “The Congregation as an Emotional System” by Peter Steinke (C135)
• “Stress and Effectiveness in the Ministry” by Edwin Friedman (C90)
• “Selected Readings from Friedman’s Fables” by Rabbi Friedman (C218)
• The Balancing Act – Congregation as Emotional System (VT1946 and (DVD147)
• Congregation As Emotional System (VT1092)
• Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times: Conversations and Reflections with Dr. Peter
  Steinke (DVD146)
• Family Process and Process Theology (VT1300)
• How Your Church Family Works with Peter Steinke (VT1087)
• Reinventing Leadership (VT1689) (also available on DVD)
• Leadership and the New Science (VT2038)
• Dealing with Conflict (VT1685)
• Road to Abilene (VT1686)
• Groupthink (VT1684)
• Everyday Creativity
• The Goose Story (VT1992)

The preceding resources are highlighted and recommended for your consideration. If you have questions or would like to reserve a resource, contact Julie Aageson at 701-232-3381 or julie.aageson@ecunet.org

Visit the EaND Resource Center | Search the Catalog

Eastern North Dakota Synod - ELCA: Family Systems and Healthy Congregations