Resources for Difficult Times
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None of us is exempt from difficult times. Experiences of loss and grief, deep disappointments, fear and worry are the stuff of life. The death of someone whose life was once full of promise, the loss of one’s job, an unwelcome or unexpected transition, dreaded health diagnoses, broken relationships, and unfulfilled promises are the great common denominators. Very often, we don’t see another’s suffering, we don’t know another’s disappointment or the circumstances that bring sorrow and grief. Knowing that the incarnate God who came to us in a suffering Christ walks with us in our suffering is our anchor and our hope. The following resources are representative of what the Resource Center provides in our collection on loss and grief.
Julie K. Aageson,
Director of the Resource Center
Coordinator, ELCA Resource Centers
Both The Lutheran Magazine (external link) and The Little Lutheran (external link) include ongoing stories and resources for dealing with difficult economic times. The March, 2009 issue includes a cover story about how ELCA congregations and members are coping with stress and loss. Helpful tips are included. A free January, 2009 e-newsletter from The Little Lutheran “Faith and the Economy: Managing stress around young children” (external link) offers ways families’ faith can help them.
Lent provides an important time this year for congregations to enjoy a meal together, worship, and reflect about some of the challenges many people are facing. As individuals and families worry about the possibility of job losses and other economic uncertainties, Lenten suppers and other occasions for gathering together can be a time and a “safe place” for connecting with one another.
Some congregations are inviting opportunities for their members and others in the community to hear from social workers, business leaders, and other community people to talk about career connections, social services, business opportunities, and any other topics that address current concerns. These can be simple adult education forums on a Sunday morning, a weekend retreat, or a workshop where information and connections are shared. A workshop at the synod assembly also will focus on stress and dealing with difficult times.
To Comfort and To Honor is a comprehensive guide for helping families deal with the death and suffering. It provides a framework for preparing for a loved one’s death, expectations and decision making at the time of a death, and rituals and detailed information for planning a funeral. (B1907)
Language of the Heart shares rituals, stories, and information about death. (B2185)
Joyce Rupp’s many books on loss and suffering are written with poetic grace and theological integrity. Among the best are Praying Our Goodbyes, about the end of a friendship, a financial struggle, illness, a job change-losses that have given life meaning and value; May I Have This Dance, focusing on relationships that help guide us through joy and sorrow; Little Pieces of Light-Darkness and Personal Growth encourages readers to approach painful, inner darkness as a help rather than a hindrance to growth; and The Cup of Our Life uses a cup as a metaphor for difficult times. (B2115) (B1183) (B1568) (B1804)
Herb Brokering’s I’m Thinking of You-Spiritual Letters of Hope and Healing looks at ways to offer hope to those recovering from illness. (B1653)
Printed Resources
Written by area authors Jan Nelson and Pastor David Aaker, The Bereavement Ministry Program- A Comprehensive Guide for Churches offers a wealth of resources for responding to the needs of people in grief. It provides ideas for adults, children, and teenagers and addresses topics like the death of a spouse, a parent, young child, adult child, long-term illness, suicide, murder, infertility, AIDS, and other traumatic losses. It includes resources for insomnia, worry reduction, relaxation, managing stress, meditation, and a ritual for saying goodbye. An update of this resource will be available soon. (PR515)
Wheat Ridge Ministries publishes a number of helpful booklets including Odyssey of a Pain-Filled Life by Carol Ebeling and An Odyssey Through Cancer by W. J. Fields. (PR713) (PR711)
Children Are Not Paper Dolls is written from the perspective of children and illustrates how children deal with loss and grief. (PR379)
“Mother Teresa and Father Damien refused to look the other way… they chose to walk head-on into the most extreme situations of suffering and death that continue to be part of life.” A resource for a seven-day retreat, Retreat with Mother Teresa and Damien of Molokai-Caring for Those Who Suffer shows participants how to find God “in [God's] most distressing disguise.” (PR624)
To help children cope with loss, Guiding Children Through Life’s Losses offers sixteen prayers and lessons for assisting and acknowledging loss, for expressing feelings and attempting to recognize the experience as an opportunity for healing and growth. (PR603)
Books
Marty Haugen and Susan Briehl’s Turn My Heart gathers together prayers and psalms, songs and scripture, poems and pictures, all truly remarkable vehicles of comfort and grace. It includes prayer services that can be used for small groups or congregational use and community prayer. It’s the first resource I go to when there is a tragedy, illness, loss of hope, and so many other reasons for grief and loss. Music CD and book. (B2850) (CD6)
Augsburg Fortress publishes a series called Difficult Times (external link) dealing with depression, chronic illness, divorce, mental issues, the loss of a job and more. (B2759=)
Stilling the Storm: Worship and Congregational Leadership in Difficult Times (The Alban Institute) by Kathleen S. Smith combines liturgical and theological insight for pastors and congregations as they walk through difficulty and hard times. (B3310)
Gerhard Frost’s The Color of the Night takes the experience of Job to write about the “dark night of the soul” and the soul-searching that comes from thinking God has abandoned us. (B189)
Author Marva Dawn writes about the message of hope, grace and comfort to early Christians as they faced suffering in her book, Joy in Our Weakness. (B1750)
Can You Drink The Cup? is Henri Nouwen’s beautiful little essay on the spiritual life, living the life given to us even in its brokenness and disappointments. (B1791)
Daniel Simundson’s Where is God in My Suffering is a classic on God’s presence in the midst of loss and grief. (B797)
Grace All Around Us: Embracing God’s Promise in Tragedy and Loss by Stephen Paul Bouman was written in the aftermath of 9/11. (B3347)
From AFP’s Lutheran Voices, Will I Sing Again? Listening for the Melody of Grace in the Silence of Illness and Loss by John McCullough Bade deals with chronic and debilitating illness. (B2832)
For daily prayer, Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman is for those who have suffered the loss of a loved one. (B3538)
Douglas John Hall has written a major work on the reality of suffering in God and Human Suffering. This classic goes beyond simply addressing the topic of suffering to the affirmation that God creates, sustains, and redeems and that suffering—loneliness, experience of limits, temptation, anxiety—are necessary parts of God’s good creation. (B832)
Life is Goodbye, Life is Hello addresses the importance of grieving through all kinds of loss. (B1178)
Avoiding the cliches of grief is the theme in I Know Just How You Feel. (B1034)
Video / DVD
Walter Wangerin draws from his own experience of cancer in Confronting Death: A Christian Approach to the End of Life (Paraclete Press). This five-part conversation goes way beyond acknowledging the difficulties of illness and eventual death and explores stages of grief and loss, caring for those who are ill, handling pain, and much more. (DVD250)
The short film, Nooma: Matthew speaks to the suffering that comes with the loss of someone we love. (DVD163)
Joyce Rupp explores transitions in life like the ending of a relationship, a death, a career change, a move, or a change in one’s life in Spiritual Growth in Tough Times: Find a Reason to Hope. She compares the great cycles of life and nature to our own inner cycles. (VT1942)
Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss provides authentic experiences of loss and grief that don’t assume “right” or prescribed ways of dealing with difficult times. (DVD234) (B2320) (VT2453)
Joan Chittister addresses themes of suffering and loss in two video resources, Scarred by Struggle, Transformed by Hope and Transfiguration Ministry to a Wounded World. Both deal with times of pain and sorrow, depression and stress. (VT2276, VT2277, VT2429)
Walter Brueggemann asks questions like “have you ever wondered if God cares about our suffering” and “does my suffering matter at all to God?” in Is It Alright with God If We Suffer? from the series, Faith and Reason II. This discussion addresses classical notions about God’s ability to deal with evil. (VT1878)
In the series, Great Figures of the Bible, Elie Wiesel tells the Story of Job weaving together images of suffering and sacrifice that characterize that classic Old Testament story. (VT1251)
Spiritual Homepage’s “Suffering” invites viewers to consider our common experience of suffering. The topic is introduced by a well-known thinker, a profile of someone whose life experience reflects a deep encounter with suffering is shared, a film or event from history illustrates the same theme helping viewers better understand their own experience of suffering. (VT1747)
Lessons on Living with Morrie Schwartz, an ABC Special featuring Ted Koppel’s interview with a sociology professor from Brandeis University whose experience of death and dying is recorded in the book, Tuesdays with Morrie, is a helpful resource about “things seen and unseen,” the joys and sorrows of life that all of us experience. (VT2111)
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